I posted this so you don't have to picture it yourself.
It in fact was written by a different Michael Jackson, one who is famous for his books about the adult beverage. Anyway, I open it up to the section about black beer and the first thing I read is about Japan. Somehow the two strongholds of this style are Southeastern Germany and the island nation that brings you Dagon Ball Z and Takeshi’s Castle (the footage for MXC). Right. After pondering how this came to be, the bulk of the section talks about Köstritzer Schwarzbier, from the town of Bad Köstritz. First off, that’s a really difficult word for English speakers to pronounce. Can we get that IPAed?
'kœ-∫trIts-ər
There, much better! Moving on, this brewery has an extensive history dating back to 1543, and for a long time was consumed for its health benefits. When Johann Wolfgang von Goethe was too ill to stomach food, he sustained himself on black beer from this very brewery. Further, it was believed to be a good drink for nursing mothers. And people would add raw eggs to it. I’m not making this up! If brownish eggy breast milk doesn’t sound appealing to you, then just wait until you try the beer. It really is good.
First off, it is clear why they named it schwarzbier. I wonder if it even came from a brewery. It kind of looks like someone took a tiny black hole and ran it through a juicer. I’m afraid to get close, lest it swallow me whole and then collapse into a singularity that grows until it consumes the entire planet. But I’ve read reviews of the beer before and the world is still here, so I should be safe. When it comes to Köstritzer Schwarzbier, you hear a lot about coffee and dark chocolate. If I had to pick one, I’d go with chocolate, but to me its a combination of the two. Like this chocolate I picked up one time that was 99% cacao. It came with instructions on how to eat it because just popping it in your mouth was not a pleasant experience (we didn’t read them right away). You were supposed to place it on your tongue and let it melt rather than chew. It also recommended eating it while drinking coffee. That blending is what I’m sensing, not separate flavors.
The low alcohol content and mildly hopped character helps this beer go down with incredible ease. This accessibility makes it feel like conversing with an old friend. As the glass slowly empties, I’m starting to get why Goethe turned to it when he was sick. Each sip leaves me with a holistic sense of refreshment. Like how food in Italy pleases your entire body, not just your stomach. Although I don’t think I would pair it with Italian food. Maybe Japanese?
The smoothness of this brew makes it very accessible to non beer drinkers, like, babies. So if you’re a baby, Köstritzer Schwarzbier ist das bier für Sie!
This guy looks like a doctor.
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