Sunday School: Water

The search for life on Mars is a search for water.  Scientists can't wait to get under the icy outer layers of Europa to explore the oceans they believe to be there.  All life on our beloved blue planet would be impossible without the presence of the neutral, clear liquid.  Water is ubiquitous.  Anyone from anywhere in the world can go anywhere else and expect the people there to know what the stuff is and have some.  But water is not like its gaseous companion in the necessary-for-life business, air.  I would liken it to run-of-the-mill Chinese restaurants.  Any community with at least 2,000 residents has a Chinese restaurant.  Most of these restaurants are either buffets or take out with the same menu wherever you go.  You know the one I'm talking about, red font, categories by meat or noodle type, specials and family meals have a border, spicy dishes get an asterisk/pepper/bold...  But because these establishments are independent of each other, the food they produce varies from place to place.  Sometimes it's subtle and you don't catch it, but other times it's right in your face.  Did you know you can get philly cheesesteak egg rolls in the city of brotherly love?  You can go anywhere and expect people to know where to get Chinese food, but it's not all the same.

Welcome to the world of water chemistry!  Atoms are the building blocks of everything you see and many of the things you don't.  They bind together so tightly it seems like they'll never let go, but ultimately they are fickle creatures given the right setting.  Let's take a look at a sodium chloride molecule that has just moved into a watery neighborhood.

Na:  Chloride, we need to talk.

Cl:  What is it, hon?  Is something wrong?

Na:  I'm leaving.

Cl:  What do you mean?

Na:  I want dissolve this union.

Cl:  Is it Oxygen?  I knew it!  But she's so negative!

Na:  Like you're much better!  Ever since I met you, my blood pressure has been through the roof!

Cl:  What about our baby, Table Salt?  We made that together.  Are you just going to walk away from our baby?

Na:  No.

Cl:  You're taking it!?

Na:  Only what's mine.

Cl:  But that'll kill it!  We should have never moved here!

Na:  I'm leaving.

Cl:  Fine!  I'll just call up Hydrogen.  He's looking.

All this atomic home wrecking is rough business and produces hard water.  The harder the water, the darker the beer, but not always.  This is because the optimal ph for the mash is lower than many municipal water sources.  Maybe I should explain mash... Meh, I'll get to it some other time.  I will do ph, though.  The ph scale measures the acidity or basicity of a liquid with acidic at 1 and basic at 14.  The numbers come from the exponents in the measurements (scientific notation), hence the odd range.  Pure H2O would be completely neutral at 7.  Hard water has higher numbers while soft water has lower numbers.  Got it?  Good.  Anyway, the malts add acidity and dark malts add a lot of acidity.  That's why hard waters make good dark beers.  Using soft water for a dark beer or hard water for a light beer could leech unpleasant flavors from the grain or even kill the yeast.  That would be a zymurgency.  Ha!  Obscure brewing pun!

There's a lot more that goes in to water chemistry but I've laid out the basics (and acidics I guess) here.  Hope you find the information interesting, or even useful.  Happy drinking and happy brewing!