Busted Knuckle, Gray's Brewing Company

Paul Ryan and Joe Biden went toe-to-toe last week in the only vice presidential debate of this year’s U.S. election.  How did his image hold up?  It was pretty easy to bolster his little guy motif when his opponent, 27 years his elder, kept giving that smile that says, “I remember when I was young and stupid!”  He also reminded us of his style of half truths early on by tying the fortunes of the entire country to one, unglamorous city in Pennsylvania.  So pretty much no change.  My last two beers from Gray’s Brewery in his hometown of Janesville, Wisconsin didn’t quite capture the man who is running to be the next VP.  Therefore I am giving it one more shot with an Irish Red.  While the company’s own description doesn’t seem to match the Ryan motif, the name conjures up images of the debate he just contested.  On to Busted Knuckle!

Nice pour!

This beer is really quite red.

It forms a very nice head.

If you wanted a bite,

You’ll find no delight.

It’s malty and sweet instead.

This is not going well.  Busted Knuckle tastes even less like Ryan than Bully Porter and the Oatmeal Stout.  I don’t feel busted up at all.  It is indeed Irish, but if its finger joints are damaged, it’s from hand-kneading dough for bread to be donated to homeless orphaned children.  This beer couldn’t hurt a fly, in the exceedingly rare case it ever felt the need to.  Far from a young gun in his fighting prime, I’m seeing an old grandpa who sticks his foot in his mouth, but in an endearing sort of way.  Wait a minute...

What?  Can it really be?

Yes.  Busted Knuckle is Joe Biden.  Which means Biden must be from Janesville.  Which means Ryan must actually be from Scranton!  Now to find a microbrewery there.  Does anybody know where one is?  Preferably near the Dunder Mifflin office.

Oatmeal Stout, Gray's Tied House

A few days ago I tried a beer from Janesville, the hometown of Paul Ryan, and compared it to the man himself.  There quite clearly was no match of character between them, but today this city in Wisconsin gets another shot at brewing a match for its famous politician.  Gray’s Tied House is swinging again with its Oatmeal Stout.  Looking ahead to other drinkers’ reviews raises hopes in the vast differences in opinion.  Most people appear to have very good or very bad things to say with not much left over for the middle.  That sounds familiar.  However, those who don’t like it claim it to be too weak or thin.  That doesn’t much sound like the man running for VP.  Oh well, time to test it with the tongue.

It's also black.  Ryan is not black.

The head may be thin but the oatmeal stout aroma is all there.  Coffee notes hit your nose, but don’t assault you.  A lot of people mention milk chocolate rather than the usual dark chocolate associated with stouts.  This might come more from the mouthfeel than the actual flavors.  A lack of alcohol bite and a viscosity that delivers only slight chewiness allow this beer to charm its way through your mouth.  Stronger, creamier oatmeal stouts would forcibly thrust themselves upon your senses and then coat you with a heavy layer of “I’m not going anywhere!”  You actually feel like you could drink this while eating food and not miss out on either one.  I must say I agree more with those on the positive side than the negative, but I understand the nay-sayers.  To them it is a small beer, incapable of offending anyone.  Alternatively, you could see it as a courteous beer, dulling its sharpest points so as not to hurt anyone.

Good Guy Beer

Gray’s Oatmeal Stout comes a lot closer to Ryan than Bully Porter.  There is more strength in the flavor profile and a mere whiff of its style-specific aromas can turn off some drinkers.  The very dark, almost black color fits perfectly with his chosen talking points.  Economics isn’t called the “dismal science” for nothing!  But there are a few key differences.  When you drink Gray’s Oatmeal Stout, you feel happy and comfortable, like the liquid in your glass is there solely to help you live life.  That does not at all sound like the faux libertarian Tea Party.  This beer is Ryan if he were less forceful and more apt to compromise.  It certainly helped the beer, it certainly would help Ryan.  That is, assuming there are others in congress willing to do the same.

Bully Porter, Gray's Tied House

Today’s beer is from Janesville, Wisconsin, not to be mistaken for Jaynestown, Canton.  Very different places.  While the face associated with Jaynestown belongs to Adam Baldwin, Janesville is currently gaining notoriety in the U.S. as the birthplace of Paul Ryan.  I wonder if this beer will be like his national image...  It’s a porter, the beer of working class people, so that’s a start.  Let’s dive into Gray’s Bully Porter and see!

Mm...  Dark.

Nice looking dark beer.  The head might be a bit thin, but it’s definitely got that porter color and consistency.  The aroma makes you think of chocolate but the real culprit, and this becomes even more evident when you sip it, is caramel malt with a splash of chocolate malt (which contains zero cocoa, by the way).  The mouthfeel is kind of thin.  This is probably due to the variety of yeast they used, but the lack of black patent notes diverting your attention could be exacerbating it too.  It’s easy to drink this beer and think, “This just doesn’t kick enough!”  However, the company’s own description talks of a brew that is softer than other porters, so it’s not meant to punch you in the face.  I would say the most disappointing thing about Bully Porter is not the stuff in the bottle, but the bottle’s screw top cap, which keeps me from being able to refill it with my own concoctions.

Damn you screw top!

So, is this Paul Ryan’s zymurgic doppelgänger?  I’m going to have to say no. The small head may go with his just-the-facts motif, but the sweetness isn't becoming of a rough-and-tumble upstart.  It doesn’t hit you like inconvenient truths about national finances.  It doesn’t galvanise beer drinkers like a no-sugar-coating call to action.  You could argue that it is misleading, but the brewer acknowledges this up front.  Bully Porter is not Paul Ryan but maybe there is another.  Perhaps the oatmeal stout?  We’ll see...